some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
