What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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