I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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