dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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