My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
