what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
