i may or may not be watching the land before time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm too high and old for this...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
