The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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