My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize