if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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