I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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