all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
