I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
