dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
