Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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