There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize