he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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