You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
