she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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