It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
