Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
