ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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