He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize