I wannas sexs uuuuu
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
