Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
