then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
