just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
