Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
