I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize