Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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