the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
