you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
