wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
