You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
