he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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