I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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