That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
