I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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