I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I touched a dick in church today
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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