im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm like, not good at living.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
