The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
