I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
