ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Someone signed my nipple.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize