does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
