i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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