I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
