I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize