I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
