Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
