she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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