she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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