shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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