I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
