just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
