This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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