you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
