At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
