I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
